haha. i was up late last night, and this thought popped in my head:
"i should google excuses for being late to class"

i clicked on the first one and died laughing(of course, it was late so i was a little slap-happy)
here's what they were:

20 EXCUSES FOR BEING LATE TO SCHOOL/WORK
(warning the use of these excuses may result in loss of job or ejection from the class)

1. My dog died and I had to take him/her to the vet to get cremated.

2. There was a really bad accident on the (freeway in your area) and I was stuck in traffic for ever.

3. I made the mistake of letting in some Jehova's Wittneses and they wouldn't leave.

4. I hit a car in the parking lot (start describing your bosses/professors car) and had to leave a note.

5. I'm not late...everyone else is just early.

6. I'm late because I hate my job/this class and most of all I hate you...I QUIT!

7. Sorry I'm late, I got sidetracked at Krispy Kreme's....but I got some for you.

8. I killed my parents and had to dismember their corpses and bury the evidence.

9. The classic: My alarm clock broke at I woke up late.(never works)

10. I been up for the last 60 hours on a crack binge and need a quiet place to sleep.

11. I know im late...today is 'National be late to school/work Day'.

12. I've been at the doctor's office because of this weird infection...he says it's contagious.

13. I was at the bank getting another extension on my loan....can I get a raise?

14. My dear Aunt Edna is very sick and I had to take care of her while my parents were out.

15. The believable lie: First when you know you are going to be late call from your cellphone while on the street or freeway. Tell your boss/proff. that you just witnessed a really bad accident and have to wait for the cops to arrive. When you get in use your imagination to describe the most horrific traffic accident you can think of.

16. I hit a dog and had to stop...then look at your boss and say "wouldn't you have done the same thing?!?"

17. Start getting upset and say "That's ludicrous I'm not late, I still have 10 minutes to spare!"...then start tapping your wristwatch and hold it up to your ear (if its not digital)...then kinda sigh and hang your head.

18. Act like you don't speak english.

19. Sorry my AA meeting ran a little long.

20. Just look at your boss/proff. like you're crazy. Then walk away mutterinng something about going postal and killing everyone starting with your boss/proff.